October 2015 – SUMMER PEREZ

12 Tips on Becoming More Confident

October 8, 2015 1 Comment

We were born with the confidence of a blazing star. Just look at how confident small children are. But we just forget this in-born confidence as time goes on as we become influenced by all sorts of external factors. But it’s there– it’s just a matter of cultivating it.

For me, three things that increase my confidence daily are my successes as a mother, the progress in my yoga practice and workouts, and unconditional love. However, I’ve found there are many more ways to work on becoming more confident from the inside out:

1. Keep an open mind and see the potential to grow in every day situations. The good, the bad. All of it.

2. And stop hating! It only keeps you from realizing your highest potential. Being focused on others keeps you from focusing on yourself and keeps you in a spiral of negativity.

3. Be aware of your strengths and OWN them! What are you good at? What do you enjoy? Do more of that!

4. Strive for progress– not perfection.

5. Know that sometimes #shithappens. Just pick your head up and move on to the next.

6. Believe in yourself. Whatever you project others will pick up and believe about you, too.

7. So be optimistic! There’s power in your words and thoughts. Negativity brought into fruition only undermines your confidence.

8. Work on resolving your fears. Or, if they won’t resolve, learn to work past them. You gain confidence in the small steps.

9. See yourself and others through loving, compassionate eyes.

10. Get physical, whether it’s yoga, weight training, running or dancing. Whatever it is, do what feels good for you. Working out not only does wonders for your body but your mind as well. Celebrate the progress along your journey.

11. Practice gratitude daily. Be mindful of the little successes that go unnoticed.

12. And meditate. Clear your mind of the thoughts that plague you. Get connected to your true essence and shine from deep within. Align yourself with the power of your higher Self so you may live your life to its highest potential.

Always remember: you are a beautiful, capable being, born to do great things in this lifetime. Love yourself fully and own your abilities with confidence!

Blog, Kids, Motherhood

Create The Conditions and Allow Yourself to Bloom: The Birth of a Flower

October 3, 2015 No Comments

Geez… inhale.. Yeah… exhale… I need to go to the hospital.

NOW.

I had just finished throwing up so violently that I had no idea how I did not smash my face on the porcelein.

Now there I was, lying on the cold stone bathroom floor, 34 weeks pregnant. The last time I threw up like that I gave birth a few minutes later.

My sister’s car broke down. Oz is at work 30 minutes away. Taxi please.

The cab driver asked if I was going to visit someone or to work at the hospital.

“No, I think I’m having a baby.”

Silence.

He started to drive a little faster. I can’t imagine a cab driver who wants someone’s water bursting in their back seat.

Thirty minutes later, I’m going through registration. Really? C’mon. There’s got to be a faster way.

See, I don’t feel the pain of the contractions as badly as others. I zen out throughout the process. I can make it to the pushing without extreme pains. I just feel uncomfortable tightening.

I got up to the maternity triage and changed my clothes in the bathroom. A cattleya flower greets me there. A sign that she’s coming? Cataleya was to be her name.

The nurse says I’m 3 centimeters dialated, 80% effaced and baby’s head is at the -1 position, meaning she’s super low. The monitors say I’m contracting intensely (how am I not in extreme pain?). Contractions are 1-3 minutes apart. This baby wants to come out tonight.

But she can’t. She’s too small. She needs to bake for a few more weeks. Ideally 6 more weeks.

They inject me with medication to help stop the contractions. Doesn’t work very well. I’m still contracting hard even though it is starting to pace out. I’m pumped with so much saline fluid that I’m going to the bathroom every few minutes. I want it to just stop. I want to have it all stop.

In time, things slowed down and two days later I was released. My doctor said if I made it to 36 weeks to throw a party. Heck, if we made it to that Friday to throw a party. It was only Monday.

Wow, I’m having a baby. And soon.

Where did the time go?

I wasn’t ready for her to come right now.

Up to that point, more often than not, I didn’t feel pregnant. Most of the time was spent responding to other people’s needs. I was in such a stressful living situation that I felt as though I was not permitted to just BE. It didn’t sink in that I was actually pregnant and another baby is coming until I was in the hospital. I thought I had more time.

And I needed time on my side. From then on, I committed to living in the moment as much as possible. Every day that passed was a celebration. No need to wait until Friday. We were celebrating now.

I was soaking up as much time as I could with my son before his sister arrives. Wasn’t I doing this before? I thought I was. But I quickly realized I missed out on things when I allowed myself to be overtaken by other people’s negative dispositions. Being an empath, I can get lost in the energy of those around me if I don’t make a conscious effort to emit and protect my own. No wonder Cataleya wanted out. Or at least wanted to let me know to get my shit together.

Thank you for that wake up call, baby girl.

I found peace in the days that followed, and I felt her love more than ever. And it felt like magic.

On the morning of her birth, she gently woke me up to let me know it’s time we met. I basked in serenity knowing I was going to be face to face with my angel.

It was with the strength I found in serenity that allowed me to have a mostly painless labor and birth. No screaming, no crying, no medications. Just peace. Ok, and maybe a tight grip on Oz’s hand here and there.

But the moment the doctor handed me her tiny little 36 week body to hold, there was an overwhelming sense of completeness.

This is it.

She’s here.

And she’s perfect. Even down to her name.

The cattleya orchid can live in harsh environments, but given the right conditions it blooms to reveal one of the world’s most beautiful flowers.

My little Cataleya did just that. And as she continues to bloom, she teach me to do the same.

Happiness, Life, Love, Self-Love, Spirituality

When Things Fall Apart (and Even When They Don’t), Breathe and Be Love

October 2, 2015 No Comments

It’s such a simple phrase, but it really does do a lot to calm your body, reframe your mind, and remind you of your true nature. At any given moment you are given the choice to react or respond. So whenever things begin to get overwhelming, out of hand, or just brings a negative sensation to your body, take a moment to breathe. Close your eyes.

Breathe and be love.

Because that is who you really are. You are, at your very core, pure love. It can be so easy to forget, so easy to get masked by fear we learn as we go through our lives. But imagine how life can change when you start looking through loving eyes and respond with a loving heart.

When you surrender to unconditional love.

When you stop in the midst of all the chaos and remember.

When you close your eyes and let it sink in.

Be gentle, be patient, be kind..breathe..and be love.

This reminder came to me in a moment of serenity after I had been crying hysterically during the dark times I was having over two years ago. My inner guide’s message was exactly what I needed to show me how to be happy again…how to find peace when things fall apart.

Because the more that I show up as love, the more I surrender to something greater than me which in turn gives me strength to move forward. It’s in the remembrance of this divine love that fear moves aside to reveal truth and happiness. And it’s through the expression of love that miraculous shifts occur.

Be gentle, be patient, be kind..breathe..and be love.

Remember, at any given moment you are given the choice to react or respond…to give into the negative cycle or to acknowledge its existence then gently move past it. If you find that you’ve headed down a path that doesn’t feel good, you find find yourself in negative self-talk in the mirror, screaming at a loved one, or completely stressed out, you can always choose again.

Each moment is a chance for a new beginning. Simply close your eyes, breathe and choose again. Close your eyes, breathe… and be love.

Let love give you strength…let love set you free.

Life, Spirituality

There is Freedom to be Found in Vulnerability

October 1, 2015 2 Comments

There was a time in my life where I wrote freely online. And everything was straight up. There was no sugar-coating anything. I was 100% with everything going on with my life.

Dreams, thoughts, hopes, aspirations, lessons.

Sex, drugs, love and hip hop.

Family problems, therapy, abuse, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, school.

And I wrote about how I was getting over a lot of my problems and what I was learning throughout the process. It was quite revealing, but I didn’t see it that way. I simply enjoyed the freedom I felt in expressing the rawness of life and while still bleeding saying BUT I’M GOING TO MAKE IT BECAUSE I AM NOT QUITTING ON MYSELF.

There was a point in college where I was completely out of alignment and a different set of addictions hit heavy. I needed to express my desire for recovery in every aspect of my life while holding myself accountable for it. My blog held my journey.

A few months later I got a phone call from someone very dear to me at the time. My posts were being found and read by people all over the world and it finally reached his awareness. Aaand his parents. Apparently someone sent it to his parents to read. Which didn’t go over to well for him since it described a lot of stuff he didn’t want his parents to know.

I called my sister freaking out, hoping she was by a computer to quickly take down the blog before he could read everything. But she wasn’t home and by then time she was, it was too late. Needless to say, there was a lot of screaming. And crying. And apologies. Well, screaming from his end. Crying and apologies from mine.

I remember his dad telling me that after all of the terrible things I have been through, it is amazing to see how I have learned from it all and turned into who I had become… that it was all incredibly inspiring.

I half smiled and looked down, still ridden with guilt over what happened and how it has affected my relationship. I didn’t allow what he said to sink in. At the next chance I got, I quickly proceeded to delete over two years of my life.

It has been 11 years since that incident and it wasn’t until last week that I realized that this story existed as a block in my mind and kept me from starting another blog. I knew I could help others going through the same things I have gone through, but the fear of rejection that I may receive online from my stories kept me caged. I was half showing up in the world and I knew it. My inability to be 100% vulnerable was keeping me small.

Funny how fear can create this power that can keep us down if we listen to it.

Yes, there is ALWAYS a possibility for the rest of my life that someone is going to reject me in some way. And though that fear may very well exist, I shouldn’t let the possibility of a few negative voices keep me from living in and expressing my raw truth through any medium I choose, regardless how ugly that truth may seem. Because what may be deemed ugly lies a lot of beauty. And what lies beyond that fear is worth more to me– and others– than being held back by it.

My life is my message, just as much as your life is your message. Life has given me challenges that I could not only handle, but also transcend and thrive from. Who am I to not to share my story?

Fear is a cage. There is freedom to be found in vulnerability. And so much more.

Here I am. This is me. And I am free.
Here I am. This is me. And I am free.
HERE I AM.. THIS IS ME……and I am FREE.